becoming the wife of a widower….from struggle to joy

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The second anniversary of late wife’s death

Posted by: Author on: October 17, 2009

 This past week was the second anniversary of her death.  I remembered how terrible it was for a few weeks last October before Superman and I got married.  He did really well this year.  He has had a few weeks with really poor sleep and nightmares, which could be him dealing with it on a [...]

Reconnecting

Posted by: Author on: June 2, 2009

This past weekend Superman and I had some time to ourselves. It was much needed as we have been enduring a lot lately and it had been straining our marriage.
We went on a date and it was amazing how Superman started opening up and talking about his time in the Air Force. I had heard [...]

Another Loss

Posted by: Author on: May 12, 2009

Another reason I had not been posting much over the last few months is because I was pregnant. Yes, was.  At the end of  April I miscarried my first child at approximately 12 weeks.
The pregnancy had been rather difficult from the beginning.  Almost as soon as we realized I was pregnant, I began spotting.  So after [...]

Christmas with the in-laws

Posted by: Author on: December 21, 2008

So I’ve so far survived the first Christmas with the in-laws.  We’ve been here 2 and a half days.  It’s interesting, to say the least.  When Superman’s brother arrived, he didn’t even say hi to me.  And Superboy latches on to Grandma like a lifeboat leaving the Titanic and acts like mommy and daddy are [...]

7 weeks into marriage

Posted by: Author on: December 15, 2008

So we got married on October 24th! You haven’t heard from me because it’s been insanely busy as I adjust to becoming a wife, a mother, and my commute changed from being 25 min to 45 min-1 hour one way.
I must say that things are going pretty well. We are having our moments here and [...]

on days like today

Posted by: Author on: October 6, 2008

As I have so wonderfully observed, I usually only turn to this blog when I need to vent.  My lack of writing means that things have been going well, and, well……busy.  Here’s a summation:
Premarital counseling continued, great progress made! Superman and I took a day trip to the lake and had the greatest time.  Superboy [...]

I don’t want to hear her name

Posted by: Author on: September 8, 2008

For the last several months, Superman and I have been doing really well in regards to the whole “widower thing” (for lack of a better phrase).  I’d gotten past a lot of my insecurities, his grief was not apparent, and he even reported that he was getting his passion back.  He was feeling more productive, [...]

it’s been postponed

Posted by: Author on: September 7, 2008

So I told you all I was supposed to marry Superman 2 days ago.  It didn’t happen.
Approximately two weeks ago, after reflection in premarital counseling and based on the advice of our pastor, we postponed the wedding indefinitely.
I am telling you all for several reasons: 1) For you women out there that feel pressure to [...]

Three Weeks Away

Posted by: Author on: August 15, 2008

It’s amazing that it’s only 3 weeks until the wedding!  It seems unreal.
I’m continuing to move stuff into the house.  It’s really starting to feel like my home now that we are getting things unpacked.  I go around the house and get pleasantly surprised to see my familiar things in a new place.  I’ll be [...]

Premarital Counseling

Posted by: Author on: August 9, 2008

Superman and I started premarital counseling two weeks ago.  If you are considering marriage at all, it is a MUST!  I think it’s also a must to have counseling from someone who has a successful marriage.  My pastor is probably the best premarital counselor in the region, and it has been unbelievable.  What has been amazing [...]


To the WOW/GOW community:

I encourage you to leave a comment so others can benefit from your insight and questions. Many forums for wives and girlfriends of widowers/former widowers are not public. I am hoping that by being more public about what happens in our lives, others may be encouraged and some may become more understanding of what we experience. If you are concerned about your identity being discovered by people in your life, please use a screen name. (That's why I haven't disclosed by real name!) Thanks for listening and sharing. ~Author~

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