One of the ideas I’ve been turning over in my mind is that so often early in a relationship the focus is on widower issues. It’s easy to be consumed with it. Now, nearly 4 years into the relationship (almost 3 years of marriage), I’ve realized that the focus on these issues may lead to one overlooking issues the relationship can bring or conditions that impact day to day life.
For example: I was so focused on being the “2nd wife” and becoming a mother I totally overlooked how Superman’s disability status would affect our day to day living. I’m much more affected by him waking up in pain than the fact he lost a wife.
He did not even remember that his wedding anniversary would have been this week if she had been alive.
So to end my musings…
If widower issues are consuming your thoughts, what might you be overlooking? Are you truly compatible? Does he treat you with love and respect? Do your visions align? Are you headed in the same direction?
Just some questions to ponder.
So glad I found your blog. Really needed to find someone who can relate. Our lives may not be exactly alike, but more alike than anybody else I know. My husband’s 1st died of heart problems shortly after giving birth. I instantly became r to two children, a boy and a girl, when we married and soon after we added a third, another girl. I love my family, but it’s been tough dealing with issues I thought nobody could ever understand.
As I’m reading your blog, it is like reading about my own life. Married to a widower whose 1st wife died of cancer. Step child, just had a daughter of our own etc. I don’t think anyone can possibly understand the pressure of being a wife to a widower. I’m looking forward to reading more about your experiences. It’s comforting to know someone else understands.
Thanks for commenting! I try to blog 1-2 times a month here. As a working wife and mother, and a writer of another blog, it’s hard sometimes to find the time. Feel free to comment more and share your insights, we can all learn from each other!