So I’ve so far survived the first Christmas with the in-laws.  We’ve been here 2 and a half days.  It’s interesting, to say the least.  When Superman’s brother arrived, he didn’t even say hi to me.  And Superboy latches on to Grandma like a lifeboat leaving the Titanic and acts like mommy and daddy are the iceberg.

As for my relationship with them, I know they loved Superman’s late wife, but for the most part they are decent towards me.  I feel left out when I am here.  Superman’s mother gives attention to Superman’s brother’s girlfriend, making sure she feels comfortable, but minimally makes attempts towards me.

I must say though, I was very touched by a gesture of his father.  Superman was outsourced from his job a little under two weeks ago.  We hadn’t told his family until we arrived here for Christmas.  While my husband ran out to the store, his dad came and gave me a check for $500, and started tearing up saying his son always seemed to be so down on his luck and it didn’t seem fair.  He told me to let them know if we needed anything, and not to wait until it got too late (ie electric shut off).  He’s a tough guy, was in the marines, yet to see him tear up about his concern for his son and to reach out to me . . . well, it almost made me cry.  He also gave me a hug at the wedding when my mother-in-law was so enraptured by Superboy she barely said a thing.

On the other hand, they let Superboy get away with everything, even though we as his parents try to set boundaries while we are visiting.  They let him grab a ceramic ornament that he dropped and broke, luckily he didn’t cut himself.  They also let him play with the phone and he dialed 911 and the police showed up here.  They also kept him up until 11:30.  We told them he needed to go to bed, and because of the sleeping arrangements here, there is only room for him in their room.  So he doesn’t go to sleep and is incredibly crabby.  He threw up yesterday and needs his rest, but they don’t listen to what we believe he needs to do to take his nap.  Sometimes it feels like I’m living out one of those nanny shows on television.

There have been some improvements.  We played cards for a while yesterday and we almost resembled a normal family for a while.  I’m looking forward to going home so I can have my son back.  Since his grandmother had him for a year, he latches on to her and shuns his mommy and daddy.  At times I feel like I need to birth a child to have a positive motherhood experience (and we plan to have one in the future).  It just hurts sometimes.  I know he’s 2, and he’s had a LOT of changes in his life, and it will get better.  I just look forward to the day we feel less like a blended family and more like a seamless family.

We gave Superman’s parents a digital photo frame, and he loaded a bunch of pictures of Superboy on it.  We got it plugged in and wouldn’t you know the first picture that pops up is one of the late wife holding Superboy.  Superman’s mom teared up and reached out to hold Superboy immediately.  I felt really uncomfortable.  For our first Christmas here, and their second Christmas since she passed, I know it could have been much worse. 

It’s just going to take time until I feel like I’m part of this family.  I’m looking forward to Christmas with my family next week.  Currently we are snowed in at my in-laws.  Hopefully the plows work their magic soon so we can get home!