Superman and I started premarital counseling two weeks ago.  If you are considering marriage at all, it is a MUST!  I think it’s also a must to have counseling from someone who has a successful marriage.  My pastor is probably the best premarital counselor in the region, and it has been unbelievable.  What has been amazing (and difficult) is to have someone in the room that can moderate, translate, and correct while Superman and I are in some intense conversations.  My pastor knows both of us pretty well, so he also helps the two of us understand each other and he knows where our challenges are.

I talked about how I had lingering concerns about being second rate or second best.  I was finally set free from that feeling!  My pastor walked me through how Superman had been taking steps to make me number one.  He knew Superman’s late wife, and he said that if roles were reversed, and she was sitting in premarital counseling with Superman, she wouldn’t be thinking about me!  My pastor also said that I was the best woman for him.  He is very straight forward, and told me I need to get over Superman’s late wife’s death.

Which is true.  I can’t make it bigger than what it is.  I know I have some emotional and mental work to do in figuring out how I honor her place in giving birth to my future son and what role I will have in teaching him about her.  But as far as my role as a significant other/wife, I’ve got to move on.