Yesterday I had the opportunity to make my first contribution to Superman’s home (which will be my home someday).  It was exhilirating!  I had a blank canvass of a flower bed to let my creative energy flow into!

Two months ago we ordered some flowers (which still haven’t arrived!!! sometimes on-line shopping sucks!!!) and last week we surveyed the yard, discussed the plan for the deck and the landscaping.  So this weekend I bought some more flowers and vegetables and got to work!  We now have a half full flower garden in the front and some pots of vegetables in the back.

I love gardening, and in my adult life have never lived in a place where I could garden.  Most places I’ve lived don’t even get enough sun to have a signficant number of houseplants.  So not only was it therapeutic for me, it was also a feeling of accomplishment.  I felt that now the house is starting to feel like my home and not another woman’s.  It was also great to have a “normal” moment with the two of us working outside.

It was especially nice when I reflect on how poorly the ordering of the flowers went.  He picked some irises because they reminded him of his late wife.  That was difficult for me at first, because it started me on a cycle of thinking that even in everyday life nothing would truly ever belong to me.  That almost anything and everything has the potential to remind him of her.  I’ve come to the resolution that when I look at the irises, I will be reminded of my grandma, who used to keep large gorgeous flower beds full of irises.  Yesterday at Home Depot, I purchsed a pink and white daylily to honor my cousin that passed away 5 years ago.

All in all, today I’m satisfied with the progress we are making: both as a couple and with my dealing with learning about how this whole thing works as a significant other of a widower.